Things People Don’t Regognise as Identity-Based Abuse

Identity-based abuse is often missed because it does not always look like abuse. In LGBTQIA+ relationships, harm can show up through subtle behaviours that target someone’s identity rather than their body. This might include misgendering as punishment, controlling how someone presents themselves, isolating them from queer community, questioning the legitimacy of their identity, or framing control as care.

On Day 3 of our awareness campaign, we’re focusing on identity-based abuse and the ways it can be hidden behind concern, love, or “knowing what’s best”. These patterns are frequently minimised or misunderstood, which makes them harder to name and harder to challenge.

Recognising identity-based abuse matters because identity is often the very thing being used to create fear, dependence, or silence.

Awareness is a crucial first step towards safer responses, earlier support, and more inclusive practice.